Even after my first informative article on this
subject, you may still find several common idioms bamboozling your brain cells.
However, fear not. I, Master of All Knowledgeable Things Ever, shall once again
explain to you the meanings of commonly misunderstood figures of speech to
enlighten your mind.
FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH
It is a well-known fact that
children possess more intellect and instinct than adult humans will ever know. Human
infants are born with the innate knowledge that sucking on one’s own foot is
not only a great way to clean it, but an everlasting source of entertainment.
However, as humans mature, they are conditioned to view this behavior as
inappropriate in sophisticated circles of adults. This is why they compare the
act of saying something immature to putting one’s foot in one’s mouth, and view
both of these activities in a negative light. However, it can also be used as
an indicator of true friendship in one’s acquaintances; if your friend lets you
physically put your own foot in your own mouth to amuse yourself and accepts
you for your wisdom, you’ll know that he or she is a keeper.
IN A PICKLE
When someone says that they are in a pickle,
most people interpret that to mean that they are in a difficult situation.
However, in the year 4000 BCE, “in a pickle” was the highest compliment one
could receive. Pickles were invented around this time, and were considered a
great delicacy. The longer the cucumber was pickled, the greater its intensity;
therefore, being in a pickle means that you are an intensely zealous and
enthusiastic person.
RAINING CATS AND
DOGS
In ages past, there once existed an
ancient city known as South Bork, located in the north regions of West Middle
East. The city of South Bork was the cultural and scientific center of the
world. It was so advanced that it has been said that the city’s lead scientists
were on the verge of discovering why some humans have allergies to domesticated
pet fur. They had huge laboratories full of thousands of well-kept and well-fed
cats and dogs. Unfortunately, the Great Laboratory was destroyed in the largest
flood the city of South Bork had ever seen. The population was decimated, the
buildings were levelled, and although not many humans survived the disaster,
not a single animal perished. The survivors told tales of how, amidst their
fear and terror, they watched as the test animals doggie-paddled to safety.
Therefore, when someone says that it is raining cats and dogs, they mean to
tell you that although the apocalypse is approaching, you should look for the
positive side in the disaster.
EYES BIGGER THAN
YOUR STOMACH
If you have ever heard anyone use
this idiom in reference to you, I am so sorry. I, Master of All Knowledgeable
Things Ever (which include medicine), regret to inform you that you have
contracted a rare and serious disease. Magnisoculis is categorized by an
uncontrolled growth of the eyes coupled with a proportionate shrinking of the
stomach. There is currently no known cause or cure for this terrible, chronic
disease. People who have been afflicted for years are plagued with tiny
appetites and increased night vision. Eventually, a person with magnisoculis
will progress until his stomach can hold no more than a pea, and until his eyes
are the size of saucers. At this stage, patients prefer to stay out of sight of
the public for fear of scaring others with their grotesque appearance. If you
would like more information on magnisoculis and how to raise awareness for this
dreadful malady, please visit this entirely real website: www.lookoutformagnisoculis.com.
CHARLIE HORSE
Charles Phillip Edward Bartholomew III was the
most famous racehorse of all time. If you have never heard of him, shame on
you. He won the Kentucky Derby in 1874, and since then, his fame has stretched
through the centuries. He became so famous that the press would not leave him
alone, he had to attend several banquets and ceremonies every day. Soon, after
about twelve years of this, Charles grew weary of his life in the limelight. He
longed for his younger days when he could frolic in the green meadows and enjoy
a cool drink with his friends on a Sunday afternoon. Therefore, he began to
take a casual name, Charlie, in order to leave behind his prestigious pedigree.
To this day, Charles Phillip Edward Bartholomew III still goes by Charlie (and
actually will grow quite angry if you call him by his given name). This idiom
is applicable to a person who rejects his or her fame to live a life of simple
pleasures.
I am sure that this educational
piece has been very educational in educating you about education. Now you have
even more items in your idiomatic arsenal to display with pride through your
expansive and nearly boundless vocabulary. You are one step closer to becoming
a Master of All Knowledgeable Things Ever. Go out into the world now and wield
your idioms proudly.
By: the Master of All Knowledgeable Things Ever
By: the Master of All Knowledgeable Things Ever
